Mental Therapy for Disgruntled Raiders Fans

Captain Jack Rack 'em Levy – Sep 20, 2012

I’m a firm believer in a 24+ Hour Cooling off Period before you post your thoughts on your team after a particularly horrendous performance. . .

Unfortunately, many of the writers here at RNT don’t have that nicety us bloggers have, so I’ll take my full advantage here. . .

Oh, by the way, this is Captain Jack Rack’Em. . . you may have missed me last week following the Raiders’ opening night loss to the San Diego N_RVs since there certainly wasn’t any O in that South California team; unfortunately, there certainly wasn’t any STs on our side, which contributed to an opening night loss. I bet it must’ve raised your blood pressure a few points, too. . . especially if you were trapped in a bar-locale with a festering group of anal Chargeless fans to boot.

IF, like me, your B.P. WAS raised a few points and you felt your heart ready to bust through your chest since you were livid about what should’ve been an opening night W taken away, I certainly hope it wasn’t a pounding which caused you to be taken to a medical facility. . . or evacuated via an air mobile device of your choice – jet or helicopter depending on your location.

However, this unfortunately was the case with yours truly, as it’s amazing how three flaming rectal anuses can put you in a ticked off (I’m being nice for our PG readership) mood as soon as you walk into a place just to watch the game. Yes, Captain Jack had to make an unscheduled leave of absence via medical evacuation from his temporary work location in the Caribbean on a private Lear Jet – that was pretty cool considering – back to his home in Florida on the Wednesday following the game.

Yeah, a nice collection of buffoons masquerading as Bolt fans and acknowledged Raider Haters; I know it shouldn’t get to me, but I’m sure there are those fans who wear the Love for THEIR Raiders on their collective sleeves. To you, I proudly write this piece.

And it certainly was a great first half too for the Monday Night opener, seeing that the Raiders’ defense showed up for the first time since. . . since. . . heck, since Willie Shaw was Defensive Coordinator if I remember correctly. True, Bresnahan I (the first iteration, and I profusely apologize for bringing up that swear word) was D-Coordinator during our Super Bowl run a decade ago, but Chuck inherited Shaw’s schemes and hard-charging players, not tinkering (i.e. didn’t screw it up enough) in keeping the group solid in not letting the opposition score sufficient points in comparison to our potent Gannon, Garner and Rice-led offense. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah. . . those were the days.

Now, if we could keep the Defense shown in holding the Chargers to five field goals on short fields (three of which were provided by the punt team minus Pro-Bowl snapper Jon Condo) along with the high-powered offense shown under Hue Jackson. . . now THERE would be a tea. . .

mmmmm. . . Yeah I forgot we don’t have a Hue Jackson inspired, power-blocking high-tempo offense anymore either. I’m sure John Doublin can enlighten you to that fact.

So what we have here is. . . Failure to Communicate (always loved that line from Cool Hand Luke), getting a defense actually worth a salt a year too late. ((Sigh)) But there is still hope yet Raider Nation - although not seen this past Sunday, but I certainly could’ve told you a loss was imminent unless the Offense got out to a multiple-digit lead as the Captain has played many a football game in the heat and humidity of a Florida summer and faux-fall myself. . .

. . . and it certainly made the sting more aggravating watching from the confines of my Florida home, having been discharged from the hospital two days prior after doctors found no blockages in ‘The Captain’s’ not so crystal clear-n-clean arteries (thank God, and thank those that sent me well wishes during my hospitalization), with the Captain remaining his old crotchety and salty self, able to write more articles and see more Raider games in 2012 – and hopefully many years beyond.

I wasn’t able to travel to the game this year as I had in 2011, but it looked to have a decidedly different outcome than the game last December; last Sunday the Raiders were leading at the half 10-7, playing inspired ball. . . AFTER letting the Dolphins march down the field in their first possession like a hot knife through the proverbial butter (or a Marino offense through a Bresnahan defense to make the point more lucid). Last year the Raiders were losing 13-0 at the half before ultimately losing 34-14 (and it wasn’t even that close since the Raiders' fourteen points came in garbage time.)

Back to Sunday past and it certainly appeared the Raiders could handle a Dolphins team which looked like a patchwork team of scrubs the preceding Sunday in Houston. After all, the Raiders’ offense is based on the Texans’ offense, so it should run roughshod over the Fish. . .

. . . except THIS Raiders’ offense is nothing like the Texans’, as DMac and the OLine look nothing like Arian Foster and Houston's OLine. In fact, Mike Goodson was the recipient of the halfback pass for a touchdown while McFadden was on the sidelines with a poked eye, and DMac and Palmer were off-kilter on a red zone pass (Palmer threw late after double clutching before McFadden dropped the higher second throw), leading to the field goal instead of a sure touchdown ending the half. Who knows if the extra bit of Oooooomph could’ve been the difference between a win and loss, but now we’ll never know.

It probably wouldn’t have mattered anyway in the long term, since the Raiders’ Defense couldn’t figure out how to cover the Tannehill-to-Hartline out pattern ALL DAY LONG!! Nor could they tackle Reggie Bush or Lamar Miller in the second half, as the heat, humidity and Dolphin offensive line beat down the Raiders as they gave up four touchdowns – and 237 rushing yards to those aforementioned running backs.

That’s 28 points boys and girls. . . not anyway to win many games in the NFL. . . especially to a Miami team who in my mind will turn out to be woefully awful in 2012.

But in keeping to my 24+ Hour moratorium, there is indeed a Silver and Black lining to the remainder of the Raiders’ season, as attested by the following (and yes, I despise all the Chicken Little’s running around spreading all the doom, gloom and foreboding with regard to our team):

1) The Raiders’ running attack has GOT to improve, either through McFadden and the offensive line meshing and starting to function as a cohesive and effective ZBS-unit, OR through the scrapping of the ZBS altogether and back to a power-running scheme which has been most fearsome the past two years. IF the former doesn’t occur, the latter most certainly will; Dennis Allen will NOT have the hopes of a winning football team hampered through an insufficiently productive running attack – remember Knapp’s plug was previously pulled in his first stint – and the Real DMac/Goodson/Jones running game mixed with a dynamic Palmer to pick-a-receiver passing attack is needed to produce W’s.

2) Those apprehensive the Raiders wouldn't feature a feared TE attack or punt return threat were shown that Brandon Myers and David Ausberry in the former and Phillip Adams to the latter appear more than capable to fill those roles. True, the jury is still out to see if Coye Francies can fill the Jacoby Ford kick return role, but it looks like the diminutive (although 3” taller than Ford at the same 185lbs) can take a lick and come back.

3) Although they were gassed in the second half and didn’t effectively form tackle this past Sunday, the Raiders’ front seven are light years better than they’ve performed in what seems like decades. Look at the film – they kept San Diego to a paltry 32 yards on 20 attempts (1.6yd avg.) while 195 of the 263 yards (74%) the Dolphins accumulated occurred in the second half when the nasty climate took its toll. Now if we can find a cornerback who can cover. . .

4) Finally, for those eternal (or is it internal? i.e. you need the belly for it) optimists out there, it’s not how you start, it’s how you finish. True, the first five games of the schedule are killer (late Monday night opener then travel on short week to humid Miami, followed by the Steelers, a trip to Denver – although not in the weather – and another east coast flight to a powerful Falcons squad) and could see the Raiders languishing at 0-5 (or at best 2-3 or a hopeful 1-4). . .

. . . things get better afterwards and the team should eventually gel with games against the woeful Chiefs (who truly suck worse than us. . . lol) twice; at home against the Jags, Browns and Bucs – all mediocre per their looks so far; and another home game against the Saints who don’t appear to be the team they’ve been the past several years. Sure, away games at Cincy, Baltimore and Carolina don’t appear to be fun by any stretch of the imagination, but also remember we’ll have divisional rematches with the Donkeys and Bolts when we should be running at full tilt in what will again be a very tightly contested AFC West.

Listen, I know it sucks to be 0-2 and anybody calling themselves true Raiders’ fans feel the sting I feel, or how else would you explain a heart-pounding desire to pummel the living crap out of the ingrates who caused me an unexpected trip to the hospital well before it was time; believing in the mantra of Fans Against Violence I didn’t. . . and TRUST ME it took all my self-restraint not to go off on the aforementioned hemorrhoids.

I do wholeheartedly believe we’ll have a successful season – true, it may not be a Playoff season, but I know its success may be measured by intangibles not as clear as a won-loss record. . . but you can take my optimism for what it’s worth, and MOST of the time I’m a Glass Is Half Empty type of Pirate, so I’ll leave you with my bellicose and resounding YAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!! as always.

Now, if I can only find my way back to the Caribbean as soon as humanly possible. . .