Raider Nation: Don't Be That Guy/Gal at the Sports Bar...

Captain Jack Rack 'em Levy – Oct 18, 2012

I had some additional thoughts I wanted to share following the Raiders’ game last Sunday that just didn’t quite fit into my last article, so I thought I’d share them with you here… Hey, I’m just that kinda caring Salty Pirate, ok?!?!?! Sooooo… Let’s get this scuttlebutt out to the crew!  

The military overseas has a program called ‘Don’t Be THAT Guy’ … which targets the ‘predatory’ men usually found amongst the clubs on base – I won’t comment about how sexist it is to just the male population, and I don’t see Gloria Steinem and N.O.W. jumping out of their seats in shock and abhorrence…

Or am I dating myself? Does N.O.W. still exist? No matter…

Yes, I realize a predominant majority of males ‘fit the proverbial bill’ in this nastiness of preying on souls at the bars, but still…fair is fair… I’ve seen some females of ill-repute just as guilty at times, but I digress…

Well, I’d like to augment that campaign with Captain Jack’s ‘Addendums from the Sports Bar’  - don’t be caught dead being THAT GUY or THAT GIRL:

1) Fantasy Football Geek – Listen, I don’t care if you need McFadden to score the TD on the goal line for YOUR game.  I don’t have your fantasy team colors or logo emblazoned on the ‘Black Sunday’ attire I choose to wear the majority of time, I cheer for MY RAIDERS – that is IF I’m not wearing MY RAIDERS’ BOOSTER CLUB or shirts of other Booster Clubs I’ve received or bought – South Florida, Atlanta and RFC to name a few; the point is I want my Raiders to WIN, and I can care less if you lose YOUR GAME because Goodson… Palmer… or even an Offensive Lineman on a fumble into the end zone recovered for a TD gets the points. Know what I mean Sparky? Get the hell out of my eye-sight and ear-shot and sit your fudge down!

2) Johnny Vegas – Oh this guy takes the cake!  Cue young member who ‘just happens to mosey on over’ to our small but rowdy group of Black Hole fans, asking us in a trifling, obnoxious manor, “Hey, do you think the Raiders will LOSE by LESS THAN 10?? I got a GRAND on them, and just wanted to know…” Oh really? YOU have ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS on a football game? Looks like you need to upgrade your clothes from “Ohio State University Homeless Chic” to “Somewhat Affluent Wanna Be Loser” for me to give YOU any credibility whatsoever.  Oh, by the way… let me give you the number to “Gambler’s Anonymous” if that’s really true…

3) Thursday Night Hater – This guy/gal simply has to go… and go FARRRRRRRRRRRRR away to boot.  So YOUR team lost on the previous Thursday night game… and you like to meander into the Sports Bar… just to check out their new appetizer list or new pub import brew … REALLY?!?!  Then why can’t you just ‘shut up’ about certain teams losing TODAY since you took your loss so well three days go (NOT!!).  Go away infant!!

Also, the Quote of the Day on Facebook this past Sunday was from Mr. Peter Collins – you don’t get a gift prize or fruit basket Pete, sorry… but I do want to give you credit where credit is due; his input, aptly and eloquently stated “You Carson Palmer Bashers need to STFU”… I’m not familiar with THAT acronym… ‘Stand-up, Tell-all, Fall-out and Un-plug’ perhaps?  It sounds like you’re praising our QB’s performance and I applaud you for the effort, as even though he DID have the pick-six I’ve mentioned previously in yesterday’s piece …

Palmer’s all day PERFORMANCE was outstanding… I’ll say that again for those who may have missed it on Sunday… OOOUUUTSTANDING!  People calling for Terrelle Pryor to play more really don’t understand the game of football.  True, I’d like to see the OSU stand-out (hopefully not a friend of Johnny Vegas) at least ACTIVE for the games, but to have him come in and lead this offense despite the handicap of playing for Greg ‘Freaking’ Knapp*, I want no one else back there besides Palmer.  The Raiders have their BEST Quarterback they’ve had since Rich Gannon… even better than their last couple of #3’s (Rick Mirer / Jeff George) COMBINED.  So lay off…ohhhhhhhhhhh… I get it now Peter! (Like I, Captain Jack, didn’t understand the acronym… LOL). 

* (To be fair, Knapp’s play-calling during the Atlanta game wasn’t as horrid as his previous attempts; with a mixture of some power-blocking schemes/runs into the zone-blocking dominant game plan – something I myself have called to do in various pieces and off-site rebuttals in fan pages and discussion groups – for the Atlanta game I’ll give Knapp his ‘golf clap’).

So back to the bay on our home field (sans dirt diamond thanks to the A’s losing to the Tigers). 
However, another round of adoration for an Oakland team many pundits had losing a hundred games, not winning the American League West with 90+ games – a tip of the tricorne to you A’s… but truth be told, I’m happy to have MY fully carpeted field of grass, thank you. 

Let’s go out and neuter some Sunshine state kitty-cats, shall we? I say so!! YAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!